Friday, December 9th was 3 months since we buried our precious son. I get sick to my stomach thinking of his body being underground. ugh...hate it!
I've been wanting to make something to put on his grave. Finally I decided I would make a wreath. I made the wreath today and I think it turned out great. Way better than one we would have boughten at the store. Nothing is perfect enough for him or ever will be.
I love you to the moon and back Aidyn Clare! Even that does not even begin to describe how much I love you. But do know that Mommy will love you forever!!!
So today is the 4th again. The 4th of every month will always be a reminder of the last day Aidyn was alive. Tomorrow is the 5th, 13 weeks or 3 months since he has been gone. The pain is still really intense at times. Our reality is that there will always be a void in our lives. We will always miss Aidyn and wonder what it would be like with him here. We will never "get over it" no matter how much time goes by.
I try to block stuff out so I can manage to do everyday activities, but it's impossible. While in the store today I just happened to see a guy with a baby that looked to be about how old Aidyn would be. Tears instantly filled my eyes. Scott should have been holding Aidyn while we were shopping. Our new normal SUCKS!!! No one would even know that we are parents and that hurts, but we are Aidyn's and I wouldn't change that for the world.
Today we went to the zoo to check out the baby memorial garden. We are going to purchase a memorial brick to be placed in the garden. We had the zoo to ourselves, which was nice in regards to my emotional state of mind.
I'm hanging onto Hope and Jesus Christ!
I'll love and miss you forever Aidyn Clare!! Love Mommy
